sunset

Wholesome heart that beams a golden hue, illuminates the forest of my tangled soul. I push on solid earth waiting for a pulse, waiting for a wing to take me where I will meld into the beat of the spirit. Melt into the spirit. Release the dark. Receive the light. Return my weathered chaos into a calm warm nest. I share my strength and ask only when depleted.... embrace the purpose, search for happiness.

Happy Zephyr is one year old. We had an awesome party for him the day after me and the (little) boys got back to CR from a VERY extended Christmas trip in SD. Pinatas with kids under 4.... danger danger! He is running now (yes, skipped the walking as expected) and trying out for the bull riding by sitting on his rocking chair backward and bucking until he feels really nuts and then lets go with the biggest, craziest smile you have ever seen. This kid is nothing but FUN! I love that Happy and Otis have such very different personalities. It was a challenge at first until I finally LET GO and realized that its more fun if mom just BACKS OFF and lets them. Humbling this whole parenting thing.... like 200% more of my daily dose of self critique than probably healthy. It is very nice to be home and back into a rythm. Where is Joe though? He is on a well deserved surf trip in California (geez, weren't we just there- oh yeah, but he was in CR then!)- I just wish I could appear in his world after the kids were asleep and the surf camp let him go! I miss the days of long drawn out chats that Joe and I so famously had. We did have a babysitter a few nights ago. That turned out to be a super fun night- but I drank WAY too much rum, didn't eat and didn't drink water. Yeah, it was a few days later that I came to. Unfortunate that I have lost my memory with age- ugh. Next babysitter night I had to promise Joe that I would stick to a few beverages (without enough sugar to give me sores on my tounge) and eat. At least then he would be able to understand what I was mumbling between sips and bites. I am going to go check out a pre-K school tomorrow with Otis. We had no intention of him going to school, let alone pre-school; that is until we realized he cannot communicate with children. He gets really freaked out around kids. He prefers playing with the mommies at playgroup. I think he is going to be STOKED when he makes his first friend that wants to play the same game OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN more than any patient woman that he pegs in the surf camp! Not to mention little Happiness getting some time to do his own thing too. Now's the time for little men to be little men! (and no, I won't cry.... much....) I'll keep you posted.

Otis

special moment.... today My little inquisitive Otis talked to me about life before Otis
He asked,
"Remember Mommy? When Otis lived in your tummy? Mommy, were there windows in your tummy?"
Although I was unable to answer you today beyond a tearful smile, my answer is...
Yes, there was a window... into your Mommy's heart baby boy, only into my heart.

been awhile

Wow, I cannot believe that my last post I was, well, right where I am now! Otis, Happy and I have been in San Diego for just over an (unexpected) month. We are packing up the OB Cottages and set out to live a simpler (and yes, more financially savvy) life in ONE country. Joe and I met in Orlando, Florida for the Surf Expo and had our first 4 days, 3 night vacation together (just us) since the boys were born. It turns out, it wasn't long enough!!!!

I am missing Joe- not feeling particularly insightful at the moment, but wanted to just say hello to my boys (I hope they will someday read this to learn a little history of their lives). Otis and Happy are amazing creatures. I could not ask for a more conducive life to be able to watch their every move in awe, and with front row tickets! I treasure these years with them, I thank Joe for allowing me the unpressed time to have with them and hope that my unfaltering attention will help them to continue to be kind, conscientious people in a world that can offer so much. The trick is to listen to the heat of the earth below you, sway with the winds above you and remember that each day is a gift, not only for you, but for the people who get to see your smiling face and feel your warmth of character.

There is magic in the eyes and words of our new president. Not for just his plans and tactics, but for the fact that despite all that he is expected to maintain, salvage and make better in this WORLD he is EXCITED to be the president. He is looking forward to being the one that wakes up to those challenges for all of us every day.

Motherhood makes me yearn for every person to be a gift for me. Why not smile? Why not think about what a gift it is when someone notices your face and smiles.
Just a smile can change EVERYTHING. Its our way of sharing our energy...
And mom always taught us to share.

patience

I have try my hardest to have patience with my kids, hubby, parents, siblings, in-laws.... but when I have that "down time" to get my butt in gear and take care of bills, business and email on the ole' compu I DO NOT want to have to have patience. I finally borrow my mom's camera with a computer plug (mine camera's plug has gone to that special place where all the plugs you actually NEED go. this place is not anywhere near the "plug box" I have full of the ones I DON'T NEED.) So whatever, I get the photos of the Ocean Beach Cottages shot- they are great, but now when they get to my computer they are like probably 10foot by 10foot and there is NOWHERE to be found the option to make them smaller. I can crop, I can enhance, change the freakin colors if I want.... but NOOOOOOO I cannot find the silly little menu that will allow me to see more than Otis's left eyelid in one full screen.... FORGET trying to email them off to my computer savvy saviour Joe, the file would fill up the enter computers memory and probably make it crash if it ever did get put through.
bitch bitch bitch I know- thank you for listening
my baby boy, Happy, is starting to take naps! He naps around 9am and 12pm and then again around 6 if I'm lucky. A schedule is being made by the little rascal without me even noticing! I guess I haven't noticed because seem to always be trying to figure out silly things on my computer like how to make photos small enough to send...... ha ha ha

A few Pics of Otis and Happy

Otis has discovered the concept of "mine" at the same time he has decided he is still a baby like his little brother "baby Happy".












Happy is glad to give up his Bumble chair for a seat on the big couch. His over sized brother makes him LAUGH daily.... I wonder when Otis will figure out that Happy is laughing AT him?!?!

Walsh's location on this planet

Hey everyone!
I thought I would start a blog, I have always wondered why Joe did it so often, but after deciding to make this bulk email into an entry, I suddenly had a whole lot to say.
First off for those of you with children, I know a secret about you now; yes its a secret only to those who do not have children, and maybe even those who only have one.... the secret is... you are completely NUTS. Maybe only momentarily throughout the day, or maybe its a moment to moment battle for you, but yes, I KNOW it now...NUTS. Having two beautiful boys is just amazing.... especially these two (yes, I am a total proud mommy and will never back down) . I have SOOOO much to say about Otis and Happy, but you will hear plenty- for now i would like to talk about our (the Walsh family) location on this lovely planet. We are having fun in San Diego- parks, Sea World, grocery stores, infallible electricity, water and septic, smooth car rides, DVR cartoons, jungle gyms and sweatshirts, but we sure miss DADDY! Joe has been back in Costa working his tail off getting the camp back in order after such a long break he took while we were anticipating the arrival of Happy Z. Joe never ceases to amaze me, and even more so since we "all the sudden" created this family (seriously... when did this happen?) All I can say is that I feel like the luckiest woman alive to have Joe as my hubby and father of my children- he is damn good at both! Not to mention the life he whisked me away to have in CR. I am excited to be going back to CR again, mostly to be with Joe. I also really love the lifestyle that is available for the boys... there is a whole lot of beach, outdoor, freedom and comfort to be free down there that I just haven't found in the US. But I I have a really hard time thinking about it without getting really sad that we are going to be away from Mom, Candy and PK. I just can't tell you how much it has meant to me to be able to have my boys be raised by the whole family- all the people most important in our lives. As a mother, you are constantly and instinctively trying to figure out how to be a better parent every day (sometimes it seems like its every second!) To have my mom and Candy there to confide in on a DAILY basis is the most comforting support I think any mom could have- again, counting those lucky stars. Although we are going to be farther away, I am NOT going to let those relationships dwindle, for myself or my boys. Otis will surely not let us off the hook when he needs his Ita and Nana and Poppy time! I only hope to make even more relationship ties with my dad and Vickie, Lisa and her family, Happy and his in the coming year. It's what I am full on about now.... family is where it's AT! Yes mom, right between the A and the T!

We had/have a great crew of people in Costa Rica who held down the fort so to speak when Joe was on "Maternity Leave", namely James- he understands Joe "from a distance" better than anyone I know. We sure couldn't have taken such a wonderful (and much needed) hiatus in San Diego without he and every single other employee we've got. We are ready to move our family "base camp" back down south again by the 1st of July. It has been so cool to get a taste of life in the US. It's funny to think that Joe and I left when we were in our early twenties. It was a long 7 years of calling Costa Rica home before we came back and realized how much different life here really is. I am not sure how much of it has to do with being 30(ish yeah yeah) and with children, or living out of the country for such critical years of my life that makes me more aware of what's going on in the world. Of course I can't act like I am that much more aware since I still have some very major questions... most will seem like instinct to those of you who have lived your lives amongst it I would imagine...
1. How much money goes into the recycling bin EVERY DAY of the same "junk mail" and IS THERE SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY READS IT, AND HOW MANY TIMES OVER, SEEING AS YOU GET THE SAME STUFF EVERYDAY?
2. American Idol.... what a great show but when did this make it into CNN nightly news???l (I didn't even see the last one... who won anyway? the hot punk dude or the kid with talent?)
3. Has anyone in the history of the world ever left a Target with only what they came for- if so, it was before the dollar bins were created and plopped in the entrance, right?
4. Is the world off kilter or am I just 32 and noticing weather patterns and the number of natural disasters are more than "all the troops" can handle?

I am already being asked if I will survive without Cost-Co....... and to that I can say; I have quit many things in my life cold turkey- this one may be the hardest.
That's all for now, according to Holly Gwee.